I Have Ambition for Other Things

What I’ve been up to this week:

It’s been a busy week at work putting together grant applications, doing training for Department of Justice livescan administration, setting up phone apps, working on financials for taxes.

I’ve also been making a bit of progress on my Gap Year guide, sorting the many pages I have written into general topic areas. I know I have a lot of repetition and need to consolidate plus look for areas that have gaps. I have not done much work on this for months. Part of it was because of my time in Sweden, but also because I was feeling stuck on where to go next. An acquaintance  suggested asking Claude.AI for ideas. I was very hesitant at first, but when I realized I  wasn’t taking any action I decided it was time to try it and was happy to receive helpful suggestions as well as a potential structure. I may not use a lot of the suggestions, but it gave me a way to move forward and begin to see how I could better organize what I have already written. I am still feeling trepidation about using AI, but when I look at it as a partner in my writing process, similar to hiring somebody to review what I’ve written and give me feedback, then it is less scary. It feels good to start working on the book again even though I know I still have a long way to go.

This week I’ve also spent time collaging, creating a few different cards and multimedia pieces. It was really enjoyable getting lost in creating, even though every time I start I have no idea where I’m going to end up. None of my work looks very “professional“, but I enjoy the process and expressing myself in a different way, and I am not planning to try to sell any of this work. Even with part time work I have to schedule regular times for art because I end up cluttering my days with other things. I have found that spending time creating helps motivate me to work on my book. I do like having a finished product or at least something I’ve started at the end of each session.

I’ve spent most of my time this week in Mill Valley though I took two trips with Mom over to the East Bay. The first was on Saturday for Emmy‘s 30th birthday/housewarming party. We had a fantastic time, all my sisters, most of my nephews and my niece and her boyfriend were able to attend. I also got to catch up with Emmy‘s friends from elementary, high school and college, some of whom I have not seen in quite a while. I also got to see the parents of some of her friends that I haven’t seen since her college graduation. I met many of her nursing colleagues that I have heard about over the years. The weather was perfect and everybody enjoyed her lovely backyard. She and her boyfriend Garrett put together snacks, she also hired a caterer to serve delicious street tacos and churros. It was fantastic to be able to celebrate Emmy with so many of the people who have known and loved her for so long. One of Garrett’s friends taught him how to make a Manhattan for my mom, which she thought was very tasty, a high compliment from her, as she has rarely had a Manhattan made by someone else that she actually liked! 

Seeing my mom, all my sisters and other relatives at Emmy‘s party brought back memories of the birthday parties we threw for the kids when they were little. And now here they are throwing their own parties and starting to enter the third decade of their lives! How did that happen?! I feel so grateful that so much of my family is still around to be able to celebrate these events. My dad was pretty much the only one missing, which made the party a little bittersweet, especially knowing that the next Thursday was the eighth anniversary of his death.

The second trip to the East Bay was with my Mom as well. One evening we drove over to the movie theater in Orinda to see a preview of the new and final Downton Abbey movie. We stopped at the local ‘haus brau’ for delicious burgers and fries met my sister Christina who had arrived earlier and saved us good seats. We were grateful for that as the theater quickly filled up. Many people were in period costume. It was so cool to see all the women in fancy dresses and hats, they were even a few men in tuxes and top hats, and one woman dressed up like a maid! I was so pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed the movie. I had loved the series on TV, but wasn’t very impressed with the first movie so I didn’t see the second one. The two hours flew by. It was funny, including some fantastic inside jokes for those who had seen the series and/or knew who Noel Coward was. There were also many touching and even sad scenes. Every time a long running character appeared for the first time it felt like a reunion of sorts. What I thought was the ending had me tearing up, when everyone was saying goodbye in front of Downton Abbey, but the actual ending that included flashbacks really made the tears flow. This was definitely what you would call a ‘grand finale.’ I want to go back and watch it again to see all the bits that I missed the first time around.

It was also so much fun to watch the movie in a packed theater with other Downton Abbey fans. It reminded me of when we would go see the new Star Wars or Indiana Jones movie the first week that it came out. Lots of cheering, laughter, and sighs. I was also grateful that the drive home took only a third of the time it did to get to the theater- I do not miss driving in the middle of rush-hour traffic.

Kieran called me the other day when he had a long drive to a worksite. We caught up about things, including that he and Kourtney were going to get their marriage license the next morning! Wow, more evidence of my children growing up. Our conversation also turned to house equity, family organization or lack there of and his always wanting to be further ahead in his life than he currently is. He’s been like that since he was a little kid when he would get frustrated that he couldn’t do what his older sisters could do. He’s experiencing it now, talking to his boss, who is decades older than him, about his rental property properties, etc. Kieran is very keen to buy a house with more land so they can have more space and more animals, and feels frustrated that he can’t do it right away. But he conceded that he was only 25, he had time and there were other things that he was using his money for right now, like his upcoming wedding. I do remember that feeling of wanting things to hurry up, the impatience to get to where you want to be. Now I am enjoying a slower pace. 

Like today when I met up with a former colleague for coffee and a walk by the ocean. We are both enjoying part time work and plenty of time to do things like hiking, reading and traveling.I found a quote the other day that fits this feeling ‘I have ambition for other things’

‘Other things’ includes going to live music, like I did tonight with my sister at the Sausalito Jazz and Blues by the Bay. It was great music and fabulous people watching, we even saw a shark dancing!