Well, Friday the 13th turned out to be a real Friday the 13th for a couple of friends of mine. One of them got fired that day, and the other found out that her husband was diagnosed with cancer. It’s so hard seeing friends suffer through those kinds of unexpected traumas. I’m there to listen, but I wish there was more that I could do. I know there is, in some ways. With my friend who lost her job, I can keep my eye out for jobs that she might be interested in. I can offer to take her out for coffee or a meal or just a walk, to give her an opportunity to talk. With my friend who is dealing with her husband’s cancer I can give her support, encouragement, and be available to help out, or get out for a hike with her, since that’s one of her favorite things to do, and something that sustains her. I can send them both lots and lots of love and positive feelings.
There were also good parts of my Friday the 13th. Interviewing candidates for a position at GANAS, the nonprofit where I work. We met some lovely, caring people. Another positive was taking my mom and a friend to a movie called Grains of Sand, about two women in their 80s, who are artists and good friends – in fact, they are in-laws. The woman who made the film was the daughter of one of the women and the daughter in law of the other. We even got to talk with the filmmaker afterwards! It was a touching, wonderful movie filmed over eight years of their lives starting from when they turned 80. We saw over those eight years the challenges that they faced, for themselves (their health) and their families (seeing their husbands struggle with illness and dementia). We saw how their time together was so nourishing for them both, filling them up to help them deal with the challenges in their lives. I loved that the only voices you hear are of the women – you see old family film reels of husbands and kids and grandkids but you don’t hear their voices. This is a movie about older women’s voices, ones that are often silenced or ignored. I hope the film gets picked up and is released. Right now, the filmmaker is doing individual showings and film festivals. I think it’s a film that everyone needs to see, to understand more about aging.
On Saturday, I volunteered at the food bank again, which was lovely and did some work on my book. I also dropped in at a nonprofit art reuse store that has only been in business since last October. It was a colorful, joyful place. I’m going to see about volunteering there, it’s the kind of place I would love to give my time to. In the afternoon I went to see a Chekhov play, The Cherry Orchard at the Marin Theater Company. I was attracted to this play because it had many of the folks I had seen several times at Cal Shakes and ATC. I found out that one of them, Michael Fusco, actually graduated from my high school. It was a funny and thought provoking play. I love how small and intimate that theater is, it’s just wonderful.
On Sunday I headed out to Black Diamond Mines Regional Park in Antioch, to catch up with a friend that I used to work with at the Bar Association. She’s now a park ranger, and is in absolute heaven. She just loves the work she’s doing and the fact that she spends most of her day outdoors. Julie, one of my hiking buddies, met up with me and Kerstin led us hike up a trail that neither of us had been on, pointing out different wildflowers that were blooming and the views as we hiked up the trail. The hills were bright green and gorgeous. We lucked out as the rain held off while we were hiking, except for about 10 minutes. In fact, it got so warm, we stripped down to our bottom layers! What a wonderful, wonderful morning!
Later that afternoon I caught up with a friend that I’ve known since kindergarten. We’re at the stage in our lives where our kids are getting married, and moving into adult jobs. We talked about the fact that this would be our 40th high school reunion this year – what!? We can’t be that old!
Monday was Presidents’ Day – I worked a bit in the morning, then spent time doing torn paper collage, which was very enjoyable. I also watched a livestreamed reading of a play called Spirals and Dirt. It dragged in a few parts, I think if it had been about a half an hour shorter it would’ve been just right. Otherwise, I thought it was pretty good. It focuses on a group of 4 kids who initially met in kindergarten, and they flashed back to different events in their lives from kindergarten and middle school, and then back to them talking as adults.
On Tuesday morning, I had just barely gotten out the door for my walk when there was a huge flash of lightning, then not long after, a roll of thunder that went on and on, and for the next, five minutes there was constant lightning and major thunder, like you would hear on the east coast or the midwest. It’s not something that we get here and was so cool, I’m so glad I was outside and able to enjoy it! I had an appointment to give blood later in the morning so I headed out to Tiburon and found a place to park facing Angel Island, which I could see through my windshield as the rain poured down. Later I stopped at the local library – it’s quite a nice library. There was a great art exhibit and a ‘quiet reading’ room which had some comfortable chairs in front of a fireplace that was not lit. That’s where I ended up hanging out. It did not have the same relaxed feeling as the Mill Valley Library, it was a lot more formal and stiff, kind of austere – basically fits in with the Tiburon vibe.
Unfortunately I was not able to give blood, partly due to a lack of communication with the person who checked me in and partly because they were training somebody to use one of the machines, which took a lot longer than I had been told it would. He kept getting pulled away to be shown how to do something and I was left sitting there, sometimes with the blood pressure cuff still on my arm. In the end my blood wouldn’t come out fast enough to donate. That was frustrating as there is not a local blood center in Marin, so I have to wait for a local blood drive and they tend to fill up quickly. The closest Red Cross center is in San Francisco, and the thought of having to drive over the bridge, pay toll and deal with parking etc in order to give blood when about 1/3rd of the time I’m not able to donate makes me not want to do it. So that was very frustrating at first, but then I just let it go. I’m sure by the next time they reach out to me about donating I’ll be willing to try again.