How do I know when I need to push myself or when I should just let go and let things move of their own accord? Sometimes I am not sure if I am pushing myself enough and other times I wonder if I’m pushing myself too much. Or maybe I’m just doing exactly what I need to be doing. I don’t know, I’m still figuring it out. I am more at peace with taking things at my own pace and not trying to get a whole bunch done but it still worries me some times that I’m not putting enough effort in. I feel like I am growing and I’m learning a lot, maybe not achieving a lot but maybe the whole point right now is to not be achieving a lot externally, but doing more internal work, so that I am stronger in the knowledge of who I am and what I need instead of running to the next thing without thinking about it or maybe I’m using the thinking as an excuse for not doing very much. Sigh!
On Thursday night I watched the Judy Blume movie, Judy Blume Forever and was so impressed with her. Like many girls I devoured her books in elementary and middle school, they were like nothing else I had read and were so empowering. Watching the film, I learned what a personal support she had been to many young women who had written her letters, especially those struggling with issues they felt they couldn’t talk to anybody else about. She is just such an impressive person and I want to go to her book store in Key West Florida – how amazing it would be to be able to meet her in person! What an incredible role model.
I had such a good week house and pet sitting for Kieran and Kourtney. Because of the weather and the driving distance to hiking spots, I spent most of the time hanging out at their place or walking Bentley around the neighborhood. And it turned out to be a really good thing, having time to just take it slow and not feel like I needed to get out and see things, that I was missing out on something. I spent more time meditating, reading, thinking, writing, and just being instead of doing. It was nice having animals who wanted to cuddle with me, not having any time pressures at all. It was almost a disappointment when Saturday came and I had to go pick up Kieran and Kourtney.
On the way to the airport, I decided to check out one of the wineries on the Auburn wine trail, which I had not even been aware of until Michelle and I drove past a bunch of wineries and breweries on the way back from the hike on Tuesday. I went to Rancho Roble, a small winery outside of Lincoln, and was so delighted. It was a beautiful setting with the large pond and the grapevines and a lovely old house. It’s very family oriented, there’s a nice play structure for the kids. It had been raining all morning, somewhat heavily at times, but it had mostly stopped by the time I got there in the afternoon. most everyone was seated under the patio or inside a small tasting/wine storage room. It was a very friendly, low-key place, and the staff were really helpful. I tried five different wines – a Rosé, Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Grigio and a red I can’t remember the name of now for $15 and the pours were all 2+ ounces, quite impressive. They gave me a map of the local winery trail and I discovered there are several beautiful venues for weddings, many featuring old barns, which is something Emmy was interested in for her wedding, so I sent her links to lots of different places. I also asked the staff for recommendations and they gave me the names of a whole bunch of other places, including the winery itself which hosted weddings, but they didn’t push their venue. I spent an enjoyable couple of hours eating my lunch and enjoying the wine and ended up purchasing a Rosé and a Chardonnay to take with me. By the time I left, the rain had set in again and came down relatively heavily as I headed to the airport, but by the time I got there the storm was behind me and the skies were clearing up.
Kieran and Kourtney were excited to see their animals, but Bentley was not so sure at first, he actually growled at them when we opened the front door! This was not like him at all, but since this was his first time with them being gone, I think he was a little confused as to what was happening. He continued to follow me around the house for a couple hours, then readjusted to mom and dad being back home and everything was back to normal. As a thank you for house and pet sitting Kieran fixed some stuff in my car and replaced my windshield wipers, which have definitely gotten a workout this winter! Later we took Bentley on a long walk around the neighborhood, getting ideas for how he could create a more interesting and drought tolerant front yard rather than the patch of grass he currently has.
On Sunday morning Kieran washed and vacuumed my car, it looks so much better! Then I was on my way back home, stopping in Davis to pick up some Philz coffee and take a walk around town to stretch my legs. I felt for the staff at the Davis Philz store, there were only three of them on a very busy Sunday morning, so service was very slow because of all the orders they had to fill. I gave them an extra large tip, knowing that it can be really challenging, though most everybody seemed relaxed about the wait. Davis is such a beautiful town to walk around in, lots of big established trees and lush gardens and beautiful old houses. I walked past the monthly craft fair in one of the parks, there was a an old-time folk band playing. I also went past the art gallery, and had a look at the current art exhibit, which were quite different styles of pottery. On my way back to my car, I passed a bench filled with flowers and notes, it was from one of the three parle people who had recently been attacked and killed in Davis. Apparently this gentleman was well known and was often in the park and at markets talking about compassion with passersby. It sounds like they have caught the person responsible for the killings but the community is understandably, still shocked and devastated. It made me think again that you can never know what will happen, nothing is guaranteed, so you have to make sure to do what you enjoy and spend time with the people you love.
