Today I hiked another section of the Bay Area Ridge Trail with my hiking buddies. It was a good day to do this particular hike from Big Rock up to the top of Lucas Valley Open Space as it was cool and sunny and the trail head dried out from the rain earlier in the week. We got there early enough that on our way up there weren’t many people. Surprisingly enough, the bikers we shared the trail with were all very friendly and good about calling out when they wanted to pass us, something we have rarely experienced on the trails. The wildflowers were out in full force, and the views became more and more expansive the higher we climbed. Afterwords we stopped at the Nicasio Creamery and picked up some of their fabulous cheese. The drive on Lucas Valley road is such a beautiful one.
On my way home I wondered how much would I give up or miss out on if I strived for a pain-free existence? Often when I start out on my walks and hikes my feet are tender. Usually the tenderness goes away, but sometimes it’s like that for most of the walk, and often at the end of a long walk or hike my feet are sore, even painful. Would I give up those walks and hikes? What about when I’m so tired from driving to go camping or on an adventure? Would I give that up? What about all those times when my kids were little (or not so little) that I lost hours and hours of sleep, and it seemed I could never get to a point of feeling that I had enough sleep. Would I have a missed out on those times? What about the relationships I was in, the times they brought pain and sadness or confusion, and many of them invariably ended. Would I have forgone those for the ease and lack of heartbreak and pain? What kind of person would I be today if I hadn’t done those things? How would I be different now if I had chosen more challenges, more difficult things? What if I had never forced myself to train for that first Avon 3-day walk, which then led me to take up running, which then led me to completing a dozen marathons? There was a lot of physical pain and emotional distress in that training. What if I had never moved to New Zealand and far away from my family and everything that was known to me? Would I toss away the home sickness, the insecurity? I realize that often what I struggled with turned out to give me strength, and became something that is uniquely me because of that struggle.