A day of errands and post Christmas stuff-took mom to church and picked her up, stopping at Goodmans hardware to get ant spray as they have decided to take up residence in the kitchen. Did some JNE work, read, meditated. Took my car in for a tune up and there was no additional work to be done (yay!), made plans with friends to get together, bought some picture frames as part of a Christmas present, helped mom clean out and reorganize her closet and got out for a walk just before it got dark and started raining again.
I’m holding the tension between wanting to push myself to do things that are challenging or that I don’t know how to do but then also wanting to go with the flow and embrace what feels right and comes naturally to me. Can I do both of those things? Are they mutually exclusive? Do I need to make sure I am taking care of myself and doing the things that bring me comfort and ease in order to build myself up to take on challenges or does too much comfort and ease make it harder to challenge myself? How do I figure out when are the right times to push myself and the times to get myself a break? Like today, the day after Christmas. I had a list of to-dos and I’ve done some, but not a lot of them and am feeling a little down, partly the usual post-holiday slump, partly frustration from feeling I’m not trying hard enough. I wonder if I need to just give myself a break today and not push too hard, just let it be a non-productive day and enjoy.
Today’s Celtic omen came not when I was outside, but had to do with nature and the weather. I was ready to take my mom to church when she opened the door and realized it was raining. She had checked the weather on her phone that said the rain would stop by 7 o’clock and assumed it was correct but didn’t listen or look out a window check. That reminded me how important it is to pay attention to what is actually happening, not what is predicted or what was supposed to happen and be able to adjust to that reality. When you go outside and see what’s happening and experience the weather you become part of nature and feel wildness. It’s why I love walking in the rain or hearing thunder and lightning or feeling the wind blowing wildly.
My June 24 memories – attending the Ripe Area Arts & Nature Festival, an awesome sound bath, making seed balls, watching kids having a great time in a beautiful natural area. Going for a hike on the coast near Moss Beach with an awesome tree swing with a beautiful view. Going to a SF Gay Chorus concert at the library, hiking in the Headlands with Heather, camping at Calaveras Big Trees State Park – beautiful hikes, time in nature, campfires and s’mores. Starting the Interim Executive Director Academy, looking after Winston again (Emmy took lots of trips!), installing a new shower head in mom’s bathroom, going to a cool weaving exhibit at the O’Hanlon Center, volunteering for a community archiving workshop at the library. Starting work at Village Community Resource Center, delicious dinner with Isabel, hiking in Portola Redwood State Park with Lolly, celebrating Kieran and Kourtney’s engagement at their house. A really full month!!